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FionaS View Drop Down
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    Posted: 19 November 2008 at 9:00pm
Funny how I always seem to post multiple questions when Elle goes through a period of long nightwakings!

Does your toddler say please when they want something?

I'm sure Elle knows what please means. If I play a game where I say "can you say cat?" she says cat, "can you say dog" she says dog, "can you say please?" She says no and grins!

Whenever she asks for something she whines about it. I've been getting tough but she will not budge! So I guess I'm wondering if 2 is too early to say please?
Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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pomikiwi View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pomikiwi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 November 2008 at 9:21pm
I always make DD say please and thankyou, I dont think it's ever to early to learn manners.
Most of the time she says it unprompted which is great.

DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06
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Rachael21 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rachael21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 November 2008 at 9:23pm
Jack would never say please or thank you either. Even now he says it but still has to be reminded most of the time. Same with thank you, he does say excuse me a lot tho which is nice.

I think it doesn't really matter if they don't repeat it when asked its more that you get it into their head when is the time to be saying it and then eventually they will? I don't know I'm just hoping lol
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kezplanet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 November 2008 at 10:12pm
I don't think 2 is too early Fiona, by the sounds of it Elle knows exactly what you are talking about and it's just another way of 'playing' us mums!!  It has been eaiser with Anastasia because "mother hen" Ashlyn does a lot of the teaching - good and bad, but we found it was just a matter of prompting the girls at the right time and not giving up - it has paid off for us and most of the time the girls use their manners except when trying to wind us up.
Kerryn, Mum to
Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chickaboo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 November 2008 at 10:14pm
Rhyley knows please normally gets him what he wants - he is very good at asking for things like Busciut please etc... and he says 'q' for thank you - which I must work on. He also knows to say sorry when he has hurt someone or done something naughty that he has to go to naughty corner for.

Some children can be rather stuborn and I don't want to tell you how 'i; would do it cause what works for me might not for you....


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FionaS View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 November 2008 at 10:24pm
I decided I wouldn't give her a muslin until she said please today. She was whining on and on "muzzzzy, muzzzy".   She refused to say please and screamed and screamed until she broke out in hives on her face! Oh my goodness!

Could she be THAT stubborn or does she really not get it.

Whenever I remind her to say please she just says "yes".

She seems so bright and so good at communication and yet...well, doesn't get some very basic things. It is odd.
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Kellz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Kellz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 7:59am
Sounds like she is getting it, but is being stubborn!
Isla doenst get anything without saying please, and weve been like that for a few months now,..but its only been just lately that shes started saying please without us prompting her to say it each time.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote baalamb Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 8:01am
Ashlee says please and thank you unprompted now, and has for a while, so 2 isn't too early. Persistence is key, and like Rhyley, Ash knows that saying please gets her what she wants! Lots of praise after she uses her manners helps reinforce it. Sounds like Elle knows what she's doing! If I were you, I wouldn't give in until she said it. Might seem mean, but hopefully she'll get the picture soon that throwing a tantrum takes a longer time than saying please and getting what she wants straight away.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jaycee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 8:23am
I agree that 2 isn't too early. Amy was quite late with talking but still managed to have her version of please and thank you. It sounded like peas and sa. Now she is getting much clearer and is getting better at saying them unprompted.

I make sure that I say please and thank you a lot when she is with me and helping out just to show her where they are used.

Sound like Elle is very smart and has a pretty *strong* character . Just keep at it !!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jack_&_charli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 8:25am
both my kids say please and thankyou...but it seems to happen more when they aren't prompted. if they don't say it and i remind them, it can take a while for it to come out

i can remember one time when jack was almost 2, he wanted something and he wasn't saying please, even though he usually did. i wasn't going to give in and had to wait 30mins before he finally said it!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pepsi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 9:34am
A few months ago I thought Alyssa would never use please or thank you either, but I just kept persisting and now she often uses both of them with no prompting (of course, not always). I think they just do it when they feel like it, and Elle is such a clever cookie I'm sure she knows what it means and is just being stubborn
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kezplanet Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 10:11am
She is testing you Fiona - and they really know how to push right to the limits, be strong and good luck
Kerryn, Mum to
Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote CuriousG Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 10:15am
We still have to remind Charlotte sometimes to say please and thank you. Please comes a lot more easily from her cause she knows she will get something but she pretty much always forgets to say Thank you. Its all work in progress!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote peanut butter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 11:05am

Tom has started to say Ta.....sometimes unprompted which really impresses me...but he has also worked out that "Ta" might just get what you want so he says it when he wants somethign too.  I am working on please, sounds like "cheese" so I let him off if he says "cheese".  Like you, I noticed he can say it when he isnt wanting something and its just copying a word but if he has to say it he WONT!!!

 

One thing I thought of is do we ALWAYS say please and thankyou with them and with others?  I know I dont and I have to make an effort or how can I expect him to.

 

Bottom line...2 is not too young....just dont expect it everytime and give lots of praise when she does.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mum2ET Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 11:14am

Ella is like Tom and says Ta when she wants something or instead of saying thank you.  She does think that just because she says Ta it means she can have whatever she wants through

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FionaS View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 11:43am
So does that mean I need to leave her screaming her eyes out (and getting covered in stress hives - which she had never had before!)??

She seemed too worked up to be able to reason or say please yesterday.

She used to say thank you all the time but it has now stopped too.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rachael21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 12:53pm
Its up to you Fiona, you know Elle best some children are just easier than others so what works for them might not work for Elle. Maybe wait until she manages to say it herself and then get strict on it. I know with Jack forcing something never works.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote My3Sons Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 1:16pm

yep I agree with Rach&Jack, you cant force her to say anything, all you can do is role model the behaviour ie: when you give her something say "thanks mum" or the good old "what do you say?".  We did this with Leo and most of the time he does it unprompted now, problem is he now thinks if he says please and bats his eyelashes he can get anything he wants lol.  Good luck Fiona, sounds like you have one determined wee girl there!!

Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote peanut butter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 1:38pm
I'd pick my battles on this one and maybe just say " say please" everytime you expect it but still give her the item anyway followed by "thank you mummy" ..if you dont make a big deal she may just start to cotton on.  Making a big deal of it might be becoming a battle of wills and sorry to say, popping out the hives card will beat you any day!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 November 2008 at 1:49pm
Yeap she is strong willed! If she senses we really want her to do somthing she has an iron will and will refuse. If we stay casual she will eventually catch give in LOL.
Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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