Toddler replaced by demon...

Seriously, I'm doing this on my own and have managed to get Ava sorted and on meds for reflux, so now she's sleeping well etc.

BUT now my first born has gone completely feral! He's been in a bed for 3 months and now gets out all the time, has been in his room for 2 hours now and not slept even though he's exhausted. I've taken everything out of his reach that I can but the few things I did leave as I have nowhere for them (toys, a few books) have been hiffed at the wall and he's just made yet another hole in the wall (last one was only just fixed). He smacks his head against the door and screams constantly.

I know we're getting to the terrible 2's stage, favourite word is no and he has the sourpuss face down to a fine art, but my god he's actually never nice anymore.

He hits, kicks, spits, screams, breaks everything then cries when they're broken... it's doing my head in.

We do time out, plus I aim to do the 4:1 approach with positive reinforcement vs punishment. My house is being destroyed, my poor baby gets no 1-on-1 time because its constantly taken up with saving something from Jack (usually the cat who he used to be nice to, now he tries to strangle him and stand on him all day).

Is this normal or is he just being a feral little brat? I know part of the problem is his dad's never home but that's something that as an army kid he's just going to have to get used to (I do reward chart things -age appropriate- with him to help with the separation).

Sorry for the rant but I really need some advice.. I really feel like we're trying everything and he's just getting worse. (Oh and he's been fine with Ava being around, up until a couple of weeks ago where it all turned to custard).

Daniel has ferral moments. Even though you said you had no where to put them I'd still take out the toys and books from his room and put them in a walldrobe or somewhere out of reach. Daniels room only has his bed, his dresser and a box ontop for nappies and shoes and thats it. No toys or nothing. I shut the door and leave him to it with checking on him every now and then to make sure he hasn't done poos. He gets no attention from me whatsoever and it eventually worked, when hes tired now he just sleeps.

Will he play in his room at all? On the days that Spencer doesn't nap he just plays in his room for a couple of hours, gives us both some quiet time and then like today cos he had a play and not a sleep I ended up putting him to bed at 6 cos he had got to the point where he just was unable to listen anymore and was being very naughty.

I have also found that we seem to be coming out of the feral phase and we now have many more good days than bad, so I think, and I hate to say it, that you might need to expect things to get worse before they get better.

Spencer stopped having a nap for about 3-4 months and then suddenly started having them again, dunno what that was all about but I am very pleased that he is back to having a nap most days.

Emz have you had his ears etc checked? I know it sounds random but apparently they can get really upset if there's a problem there.

Other than that nothing useful to add I'm afraid except I think you're amazing in the job you're doing. I can't even cope with Rowan some days and I have DH here and no other baby yet.

Oh I saw that on FB but had to run off before I could comment. Poor wee man - and that message they gave you was rubbish! You must have had a heart attack.