Frustration

clare00 wrote: I think that, not only do we need to give them the words for what they are feeling, but also by distracting or ignoring them we are implying that their feelings aren't worth listening to, and they should be suppressed. I think to myself "how would I feel if I was upset about something and complained to my husband and he said "go to your room, I don't want to hear it" ?" I would feel even more upset and would think that my feelings were completely unimportant. KWIM? I would hate for my child to feel this, no matter how ridiculous I think the reasons for his tantrums are.

I agree that children need to provided appropriate language to express their feelings, but I think in the middle of a tantrum it isn't the appropriate time to do so as they are generally too highly aroused to take it in. Therefore, I think they need to calm down before their feelings or desires are discussed and this I believe is the purpose of time out. Also children often use tantruming behaviour as a way to control the situation and are often fully aware that they are not allowed to do what ever it is they are trying to do but want to see if they can get it by tantruming.