D&C, still bleeding 2 weeks later [:x]

Wow, thats shocking... I would have been having a few quite words with her (or loud ones) and talking to her boss like Jo said.... I cant believe any one would say that never mind a psyc! Something def needs to be done about her.
Sending you big hugs, I just cant believe it! What a t**ser!!

Not sure if you want to pursue it further, 'cause you don't want it to get in the way of negotiating the best deal for the little girl and yourselves.........but I'd be pointing out just how insensitive and cruel it is to tell someone who has had a miscarriage that was "probably for the best" or whatever offensive thing she said. I was horrified at that and personally would put in a formal complaint. But for the sake of diplomacy (and less stress) it might be better to just let it go.

Can you suggest some supervised sessions at your place? Seems like a backward step but you'd think that anyone with any brains will see that the relationship you and your partner have with his daughter is a good thing.

I can't understand how people can do this to their kids. Thinking of you - good luck and patience for next week.

Urgh I have a phone call with the child psych tomorrow night.

DP and I talked last night and I strongly suggested to him the best way to go might be a half-way point between what he wants (7 nights) and what the child psych suggests (4 nights + 3 visits) into a 4 night block with 1 mid-week overnight stay on the week we don't see her. It would likely be platable to the child's mother as it still wouldn't offically be 'shared care' so she'd keep her child support in the interim but it would be a good base for a future week on/week off arrangement when the kiddo gets a bit older (Not that I ever want to go through this family court business again)

The reality is that he won't get shared care as long as the maternal grandmother is still living with the child as that means there would be no need for her to be in after-school care. Also given DP's getting the hard word at his work for not putting in enough hours, I'm not sure how he'd manage if I wasn't there keeping things together. DP has no family in Auckland so me and my extended family are really his only source of support. I can see outsiders thinking 'well they've only been together 2 years and they are only in a defacto relationship. What happens if they break up?' We are probably going to have to in someway formalize our relationship in someway before he'd have a chance at shared care if this went to trial.

Hopefully this problem will be resolved at their next mediation in a few weeks because it's dragged on for well over 2 years and everyone, especially the child, needs some closure in order to move on. Otherwise we'll be waiting around for a trial in another 3-4 months which would be expensive and horrible.

It sucks that DP has to jump through so many hoops and basically be the 'model parent' in order to get shared care while all the mother with all her flaws just needs to oppose. I can see why a lot of guys just walk away in situations like that.

Anyway enough ranting about family court.

My friend had her son last night and the pictures are alerady up on facebook. Even in a drabby hospital gown she looked so beautiful and happy I was so happy for but in an excruciatingly painful way.

We didn't talk about the topic thank christ. It looks like she is likely to recommend arrangement that I suggested to DP. He would get a four night block over the weekend one week and then the usual night the other.

DP would be reasonably happy with that and I'm crossing everything that the mother will be too and that an agreement can be made at mediation so that everyone can move one.

I don't doubt we'll be back in family court again at some point in the future which will suck immensely.