Problem toilet training

Hi all,
My 4y 8mth son is slow to catch on to this toilet training thing, my issue is that although he can go wees and poos on toilet he now says he dosent want to do wees in toilet and has usually 3 changes of clothes a day!!!
I'm of course worried about the school thing looming in term 1 next year.
He dosent care if he's wet ( very relaxed child)
We've tried reward charts, toys, talking to him, even removing his favourite things, but still no result/change.
it's of course very worrying for me, any help???? jen

We had this problem with DS and ended up putting him back in pull ups. I was so sick of washing the wet and dirty pants and he also didn't care if he was wet.

I hid all his undies and told him that he could have them back when he was a big boy and used the toilet then he could have his big boy undies back.

We started TT at the beginning of last year when he was 3.4 and he is now fully TT'd and has just turned 4.

It was a long, hard, frustrating road but we got there in the end.

I am aware that only a very small percentage of kids have this issue so it may not be applicable in your situation but...my nephew (4 years 7 months) was having the same issue wetting his pants up to 5 or 6 times a day and basically sitting in it all day. He didn't seem to care whether he was wet or not. He could be dry all day but mostly wasn't. He had been fully TT at 2.5 years and then after a few months slipped back and had been wetting his pants ever since. My sister took him to the doc and basically insisted that they help her as he is going to school early next year. They tested him and it turns out he has a medical problem and needs to be on medication. Since he has been on the medication he hasn't wet his pants at all. He also had to go and see a nurse at the incontinence clinic and she said one of his problems was constipation. He wasn't drinking enough so was getting constipated, so then got a sore tummy, which meant he didn't eat or drink much which made the issue worse. She has put him on a program where he has to drink a certain amount of water and pee at certain times of the day to retrain his bladder. They are then going to wean him slowly off the medication.

Just thought I'd mention it coz it might be worth either taking him to the doctor or trying bladder re-training.

No worries. My nephew has a chart where he has to drink a certain amount of water and go to the toilet after he has had the drink. Then he is not allowed to go to the toilet for a certain amount of time (I think its 2 hours). Its to remind him to drink (he has to drink a certain amount over the whole day) and also to retrain his bladder into holding a larger amount of water. Its called bladder retraining - the idea is to get them to drink a decent amount of water so their pee runs clear (my nephew's used to be dark yellow all the time) and train their bladders to hold the water and relax enough to release all of it. The nurse said that some kids have irritable bladders - basically they can't relax enough to empty them properly and then they feel like they need to go all the time so they ignore it and then they can't tell if they actually need to go. Drinking less water actually makes the problem worse.

I read that Nigel Latta book the other day and he talked about a 5yo who was choosing not to use the loo despite being able to and sitting in his soiled pants quite happily. He got him toilet trained by making it the boys problem. So the boy had to clean up any accidents. Apparently within a week he chose to use the loo rather then clean up his soiled underpants, sheets etc. It was easier for him.

Nigel said the mum was shocked at the idea at first saying i can't ask my boy to clean his own poo and he countered, he is expecting you to clean up his poo which is actually grosser. He's 5yo and therefore old enough to manage his toileting himself whether he chooses to use toilet or clean his soiled pants. You're making the problem his.