Today I drove up & down the motorway...

Oh 1st_Time_Preggies you poor thing, I dont have any miracle advice but didn't want to read and run. Sending huge hugs

I don't know what you've tried already but have you tried those plunket rooms where you spend the day and they give you advice? Is there someone that can take him for a few hours so you can take a break?

And you definitely don't suck at this, you are doing everything you can to help your baby and he's extremely lucky to have you.

Ok, just re-read your comment about the ear infection; that was a huge part of our problem too. Here's my advice - get a new doctor, or DEMAND a referral to the ear/nose/throat specialist. I kept getting fobbed off the same way that you are for 5 months, before I changed tack. Previously I'd been going to the doctor after a really awful night in the hope that they'd have the best chance of finding something, but it meant I was showing up exhausted and already beaten before the fight had even begun (on a bad night in our house, we'd have 3 hours of screaming, then 7 minutes of sleep, and then another 3 hours of screaming...). So I made an appointment in advance, rather than taking a rushed same-day appointment which are shorter at our clinic. And I made sure I was mentally prepared to demand the referal and to explain exactly what was going on - ie. the screaming when laying down, being inconsolable so many times (it wasn't a ploy to get me with her, cos being there didn't seem to help), the waking up if she so much as turned her head. I also got DH to take a video of her on a bad night(PM me your email if you want to see it for comparison) and was going to show them that if need be. Anyway, I got the referal, DD got grommets and she changed instantly from miserable and in pain to comfortable and happy.

Yes, she still has some behavioural sleep issues - after a year of miserable painful sleep, i'm not surprised! But what changed instanty was how easy it became to get her to sleep (half an hour instead of 2+) and she went peacefully without all the screaming. And then she slept for a full sleep cycle (about 2 hours for a baby) before she needed resettling again. A quick feed, then straight back to bed. Once that was all it was, we've been able to make HUGE progress - she's not perfect by any means, but compared to where we were its amazing! If you can't get anywhere, I still think you've got a pain issue.

Anyway, after that giant ramble, I wanted to say that I'm thinking of you. I've SO felt the desperation and exhaustion and wondering where-on-earth-next feeling that you seem to have right now. If I could, I'd come over right now and give you a full nights sleep and some moral support

oh i really feel for you . my dd was like that , she would wake 8-10times every single night and would only go back to sleep if i breastfed or rocked her back to sleep . The best thing i ever did was the sleepsense programme (she was about one when i did it )  i have it in ebook form if you want me to email it to you , just pm me your email address , it goes into alsorts of sleep issues and different ages and what to do at what age ,it was not easy but in the end it worked wonders and dd now sleeps 12hours uninterupted every night and it is bliss. its better for her as she is no longer cranky all the time and it is better for me as i was getting very sleep deprived and really starting to go a bit crazy with lack of sleep and stress. Im a much happier person now that i am sleeping properly .

 its hard to tell weather hes not sleeping because of the ear infection or if it is behavioural. if you have your doubts i would see another dr and maybe get some more testing done . Hugs to you , iv been there and its very very hard.

Yup I have been there too, spending hours walking up and down the lounge while DD snoozed on my shoulder but woke up every single damn time I put her down and screamed the house down. I used to get really angry too, especially when she wanted to be picked up in the middle of the night, or when I thought she was asleep and would try and sneak out of her room and she would sit up and scream. Its not easy I don't know what to say except something that something said to me when I was going through it "this too shall pass". It won't last for ever and you will get through it. Someone also told me that challenging/difficult kids get given to the parents who are strong enough to handle them. Think of how strong and resiliant this is making you. You will get through it

As soon as I read your post I thought "Go see a specialist" The little girl I looked after was exactly the same, her Mum paid for a specialist, which wasn't that much surprisingly. The specialist was then going to put her on the public waiting list, paying to see the specialist cut that waiting time, except when he saw her he said she needed to be done now, he wanted to operate in 2 days time! Luckily her mum was there & could pay for the op.

BUT definitely get a second opinion.

I so know what your saying too. DS will only sleep if I co-sleep with him, but even then he wakes at least 6-8 times a night and often wriggles, grizzles and cries out in between. Day sleeps he'll only sleep for 30-45mins at a time and wake up really upset and obviously still tired, But despite my best efforts, won't go back to sleep.

I am so glad to hear I'm not the only one who gets angry, as hard as it is to admit it, and as terrible as I feel for it. I've started getting a sore jaw from all the teeth clenching of late

Oh yes, me again, haha. AandCsmum's comment made me remember - we paid to see a private specialist and it was $85 or something. I would have paid ten times that just to get some sleep!

We were going to pay for the op too (it was $1500) but he said he'd put her on the waiting list as urgent and it wouldn't be any quicker to go private. So all up it cost us $85 to get her feeling better. Best money I've ever spent!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH LADIES! You have all made me feel SO much better, about myself as much as him. I am going to look into going to a ENT specialist. I figure even if they say he is okay, at least I can say I have had him checked out.

You are all wonderful