How do I know if this is "normal"?

Our 21 month old has started throwing major tantrums which I know is normal for this age, stomping feet, spinning around in circles, screaming and hitting out at us.

It can take us up to 30 minutes to just change a nappy or get her dressed.

When we do take her out shopping it tends to be places like The Warehouse, where we can spend over an hour while she runs around has a fantastic time, but getting her to leave is screaming fits! Even when we give her warning that we'll be leaving soon.

She goes to a home based carer for a couple of hours a day and is fantastic there, really happy, but get her home and she just wants to watch TV or get into stuff she shouldn't be.

I've noticed other kids her age out with their parents, walking alongside them holding their hand quite happily.
Our girl just runs!

I don't know if it's her personality? If we're being too soft? If we need to introduce some kind of discipline? Or if it's just a stage and will pass with time?

HELP!

Probably a lot is her personality. Ive found it easier to just do things that suit my kid rather than try and make my kid fit situations like shopping, or playdate with kids they dont get on with/play well together just cos it suits me cos I wanna hang out with the Mum! It doesnt last, its just at this age!

Like recently we've had issues with DS hitting,...but I figured out that he loves playing with boys who are similar, and he doesnt do this behaviuor with them,...just with 2 of my friends 2 yr old girls who are both "the sit still read a book/ play nicely" kinda kids where my son is very physical and full-on!

Neither of mine have been the walk along nicely holding hands type! I stopped talking my DD to town around this age cos she would not sit in her buggy, would not walk, ran off or wanted to be held so was too stressful. DS likes his buggy- but only when we are moving,..not in shops, lol,...when we do go to town I only plan a short outting and never when I have important things to do,...its fun hanging out together when Im relaxed and there is nothing I HAVE to do at the shops,..I let him wonder at his pace, splash in puddles, stand and stare at the buskers etc and we both have a good time.

An hr seems a very long time to be at the Warehouse. We are never out at the shops that long, DS would well have lost the plot by then. I get him involved with the buying,....give a warning,..its time to go soone,..then make it sound like a fun thing/turn it into a game,..."Wow guess what?! You get to carry this up to the lady AND pay the money,..how cool is that",...make a big deal of how cool it is, how special it is that shes gonna pay, etc.
Many times when I was stressed with something DD was doing, it only took a small change in how I was handling the situation,..or anticipating it,...and it changed! Like she screamed for 6 months everytime I took her to daycare,...so this made me upset/stressed,..worried if she was every gonna settle there, worried that I was doing the wrong thing in having her there,..etc etc,...but then the head teacher siad to me that I needed to change my attitude and start at home nefore we left being excited about the cool things she was going to do there and being positive when I dropped her off instead of anxious and worried,...and the change in her was immediate!
Good luck!

Do we have the same child? Mine is the same when we go to somewhere like the Warehouse I pop her in a trolley even if its to get something small.
At Mitre 10 I discovered they have kid sized shopping trolleys which DD pushes around the store.

I to get her involved in the shopping process and that seems to help.

We do Playcentre and there are certain rules that we all follow and I try to continue them at home, often using PC as the reason we do xyz. Helps to reinforce a consistent message and at PC it's not only me saying it.

Also another point ... how are you keeping your kidlets active in winter? I have been taking her out to the playground 3-4 times a week for a play for the last few months, she loves running on the beachfront.
I've been finding it hard to keep her occupied at home when it's too bitter to go out.
We do the things like painting, blocks, puzzles, books, but she's happiest being active during the day.
Last week when the weather was horrible we both went stir crazy stuck inside!

I agree with Bizzy- The Warehouse is not a playground- if u are letting her run about like it is a playground,..then she will think that that behaviour is acceptable at any shops. The next time shes goes there she will think she can run around again for that long,...and if u were only wanting a short trip and try and get her to sit in the trolley or leave quickly she WILL go nuts!

I give DS the option of going in the buggy/trolley (depending on the shop) or walking. If he runs away or is not listening I warn him that he will have to sit in the trolley/buggy if he doesnt listen/continues to run off etc- then follow through!

We go to the library a lot when the weather is crappy they have an activity table in the childrens area and I read a few stories.
Or we go to the shopping centre all the Westfield Shopping Centres have a play area which we've been to a few times.
Today we're checking out Lollipops and yesterday we went to McDonald's as they have a play ground which is mostly under cover.

Hey MrsAna; maybe something you could try - quite a few mums in our 'coffee group' have been using a very basic version of time out, which apparently is working...